Heaping Coals On Your Enemy’s Head

You can dislike somebody and still not hate them.

There is a difference between dislike and hatred.

Not everyone you dislike is someone you hate. If someone has done something to you, it may mean you dislike what they did or how they treated you, but it does not automatically mean you hate them. Hatred is more rooted.

However, when you see that person going down and you are not moved with compassion at all, it may mean something more serious is happening. It may mean that person has become an enemy in your heart.

The word “enemy” is a very strong word.

To call someone your enemy means something profound.

An enemy is someone who desires your downfall. Someone who can harm you, destroy you, or rejoice at your pain. And this is not someone you would ever want to get close to or be involved with.

Yet, in Romans 12:20, the Apostle Paul says something that challenges human nature completely:

“Therefore, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

Pause and picture this. You are standing in front of a lion, a tiger, or a serpent. These are not harmless creatures. They can hurt you, and a serpent will not hesitate to strike. That is how we naturally define an enemy, someone with the power to harm us.

Yet Paul still commands us to feed our enemies and give them something to drink.

At first, it sounds unreasonable.

Why do we have to show kindness to people who wound us or hate us?

We live in a world where horrific things happen, and it can be deeply difficult to know how to hold on to love and still live it out.

The call to love our enemies is a teaching most of us wrestle with.

This brings us back to the love of God and the love that Christ teaches us.

Look at Jesus on the cross.

People spat in His face, mocked Him, insulted Him, and even stripped Him of His clothes. Yet He still said:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)

That is love beyond human understanding.

Let us also look at David and Saul (1 Samuel 24).

Saul was afraid of David because the Lord was with him.

The moment Saul began to feel threatened by David, jealousy filled his heart, and he set out to end David’s life. His jealousy sprang from fear and insecurity.

David had become an enemy in Saul’s eyes while a tormenting spirit troubled Saul.

Saul pursued David with three thousand troops and entered a cave to relieve himself, not knowing that David and his men were hiding there.

David had the opportunity to harm Saul, but instead, he only cut off a piece of Saul’s robe. Even after doing that, David’s heart was filled with remorse because he felt he had dishonored the king (1 Samuel 24:5).

That is the power of love and reverence.

Even when Saul sought David’s life, David refused to repay evil with evil.

He chose mercy over revenge.

After David confronted Saul outside the cave and proved his loyalty, Saul could no longer deny what he had seen. David had every opportunity to kill him, yet he chose mercy.

Listen to Saul’s words:

“You are more righteous than I; for you have rewarded me with good, whereas I have rewarded you with evil. And you have shown this day how you have dealt well with me; for when the Lord delivered me into your hand, you did not kill me. For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him get away safely? Therefore may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done to me this day.” (1 Samuel 24:17–19)

This part touches me deeply.

Saul openly admitted that David was more righteous than he was. He recognized that David had returned good for evil and shown mercy when judgment could have been justified.

Then something remarkable happened: Saul prayed for David.

The very person who had been hunting David, the very person who wanted David dead, began to bless him.

Saul even said:

“And now I know indeed that you shall surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand.” (1 Samuel 24:20)

That is what heaping coals of fire on someone’s head can look like.

When someone gives you hatred and you answer with love, something happens spiritually.

You heap coals of fire on their head, not physical fire, but spiritual conviction.

Your kindness becomes a mirror before them.

Your mercy confronts their hatred.

Your love exposes the darkness in their heart.

David’s mercy brought conviction, and his righteousness exposed Saul’s wrongdoing. Instead of overcoming Saul through revenge, he overcame him with good and left vengeance in the hands of God.

And in doing so, Saul’s heart was convicted.

There is a power in love that many people do not understand.

Most people think strength is returning evil for evil. But the Kingdom of God works differently.

God teaches us to overcome evil with good.

As Romans 12:21 says:

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Sometimes we feel people do not deserve our love.

Sometimes we feel justified in holding hate in our hearts.

But hate entangles you; it becomes a burden you carry within yourself.

The best gift you can give someone who hates or dislikes you is love. Do not answer hate with hate, respond with kindness instead.

Even in mathematics, when a positive and a negative come together, they become neutral.

In the same way, when someone shows you hatred, you do not answer with the same spirit, you answer with love.

That is what Paul was teaching when he said:

“For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

Light and darkness cannot remain in the same place. When you enter a dark room and turn on the light, the darkness disappears. The light overpowers it.

In the same way, the light God has placed within you is what you must exhibit.

Do not exhibit hatred.

Do not exhibit bitterness.

When people show you darkness, show them light instead.

This is the kind of heart God desires from us, a heart that refuses hatred, even when hatred is shown to us.

Leave vengeance to God.